From Panic to Discovery: How I Had to Go Blind in Order to See My Future
- Richard Hutton
- Mar 30
- 4 min read
The stress is going to send you in a panic to see that change is needed.
There was a time I was comfortable being alone. I mean, I really enjoyed being alone with a pizza and Survivor on TV. I convinced myself I was just focusing on myself. That isolation was peace. That I didn’t need anyone.
But then it happened. A moment I’ll never forget. A moment that, if it wasn't so real, I wouldn't even believe myself that it happened. I was in my two-story apartment, cooking food—just a regular day. No one around. No plans. No stress I was aware of.
And then everything changed.
You See the Big Lessons One of Two Ways… Pain or choice.
You either choose to grow before life forces you to—or life gives you a wake-up call that leaves a scar.
For me, that panic attack was pain. It forced my hand. But from that pain, I made the choice. Every day since, I’ve committed to showing up, growing, learning, failing forward, and giving back.
This isn’t just about health. This is about purpose.
The Panic I Couldn't Run From
It hit me like a wave I never saw coming.
One second I was standing at the stove, flipping something in the pan. The next, it felt like my body had hit a wall. My heart pounded like a sledgehammer inside my chest. Sweat poured down my face like someone had flipped on a faucet. I remember blinking—once, twice—and realizing my vision was tunneling fast.
My chest got tight. Like someone had dropped a car on my ribs and dared me to breathe. My arms went weak. My hands trembled. It was like every system in my body hit panic mode at once. And I couldn’t make it stop.
I thought I was dying.
I remember clawing at my shirt, pulling it off, trying to cool my skin. The heat was overwhelming. I stumbled to the stairs, blind now—actual blackness in front of me—and felt my way up the dark stairway.
Every second felt like a year.
When I reached the cold tile floor of the bathroom, I collapsed. My eyes were open, but the world was gone. There was no sound except the thunder of my own heartbeat. I couldn’t see. Couldn’t breathe right. Couldn’t call anyone. Just... existed.
And in that terrifying stillness, I had a thought that changed everything:
“No one would even know. I’ve ignored everyone for so long, I could rot here for weeks before my own mom even started to worry.”
That hit me like nothing else ever had. It cracked me open. Not in shame—but in truth. I was alone. And it wasn’t peace. It was prison.
That was the day God got my attention.
It Was God Saying: Enough.
I know now that moment wasn’t just panic—it was a wake-up call. A call to arms.
God wasn’t punishing me. He was calling me. He had enough of the laziness. He put too much greatness into me for this life. He called, and it rang so loud I had no choice but to answer. Survivor was over.
Calling me to stop hiding. To stop pretending I was fine. To stop living below the level I knew I was capable of.
I had been disappointing myself, my family, and God—not because I wasn’t enough, but because I was doing nothing to become the person I was created to be. It’s a good person’s responsibility to do big things. Somebody is going to be in people’s lives, and the more good people that can do that, the better off this world is.
That moment wasn’t the end. It was the beginning.
CrossFit Was the First Step Toward Healing
Joining CrossFit wasn’t about fitness at first. It was about finding people. Finding purpose. Finding the challenge I needed to feel alive again.
Growing up, sports were always how I made friends. I missed that. I needed it. CrossFit gave me that same energy—but better. It's different than sports, but it’s also exactly the same in the best way. Because of the support, the teamwork, the tribe.
At CrossFit Fiend, it’s not just a team—it’s a family.
I’ve watched our members move Coach Mike’s entire house in less than two hours on a Saturday, just because he needed help. That’s not a gym. That’s love.
It was through the discomfort of every workout that I found clarity. It was in the conversations after class that I found the connection. It was in the growth—physical and mental—that I found direction.
I started talking to my family again. I wasn’t ashamed—I was proud. I started leading others, not because I was perfect, but because I understood the pain of not trying.
CrossFit Fiend became more than a gym. It became my ministry. My mission. My way of serving the people God placed in my life.
The Call to Serve Through CrossFit Fiend
I believe we’re all called to something greater. And for me, that’s changing lives with this community through CrossFit Fiend.
We’re not just here to help people lift weights—we’re here to help people lift themselves out of whatever dark place they’re stuck in. Depression. Addiction. Isolation. Shame.
We’ve built a tribe that brings people together—so you never feel like that again. So, you know you matter. So, you know you’re not alone.
And if this sounds like something you need?

Don’t wait.
📞 Call or Text: 405-921-6717
📅 Schedule a No-Sweat Intro: https://calendly.com/richhutt08/30min
You were never meant to do this alone.
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